I actually kind of envy people who don’t have passports in a strange way, especially in the USA where the percentage of citizens who possess one is ridiculously low. I know it’s a strange thing for a globetrotter like me to say, who gets paid to flash that passport all around the world, so why am I saying it?
I knew from a young age I wanted to see the world. It’s not like we traveled a ton as a kid, although my family did take numerous roadtrips and weekend vacays whenever we could. Was it because I was destined to see the world I’d crossed unknowingly as a newborn baby when I’d left my place of birth to my semi-permanent home? (Okay, we actually crossed the Pacific Ocean from the Philippines to the US, but let’s pretend we took the scenic route, ok?) Those people who live in their tiny little worlds in their small towns (or big towns and small minds) suffer from less disappointment when they don’t have desires they can’t obtain. Does this mean I hate my job and regret the jump?
It means that the more of the world I actually see, it’s only even more of it that I crave. It’s a never-satifying appetite I have to discover every inch, crater and shady hole-in-the-wall pub that exists on the planet Earth. We all know, ignorance is bliss. To have never seen Big Ben or walked in the floods of Bangkok, played with a lion cub or fed carrots to a zebra wouldn’t make you more happy if you never knew it existed, right? Each incredible experience I encounter has a double effect – it fills a void inside myself I desperately wanted to fill all my life, yet it creates a new one, because it’s never going to be enough for me. Sometimes I wonder if I’m starting to replace finding love and having a family with exploring the world for the rest of my life; trying to cover every square foot (or meter, depending on where you’re reading this from) of land (and some sea.. I’m a bit wary of the open ocean) until I die.
I’ll do it until I’m tired of walking, running, crying, laughing, and worrying about not getting hit by that suspiciously launched ping pong ball. Since I’ve started traveling for a living, not only am I exploring the world but I’ve been exploring me. And I simply can’t get enough of either of those. It’s my drug; my addiction. I just want it more and more and fucking more and more – I want to overdose on exploration and lie in a hazy daze of culture shock and language barriers.
So about that passport… Passport, you are evil. You’ve opened my eyes to a life that’s completely derailed off track. I could have been content never tasting that authentic Pad Thai in Bangkok or hearing the cathedral bells of the Duomo de Milano if I’d never known it was possible. But it’s too late.. it’s too late now. I’ve taken a hit and I just can’t quit you, Passport. You’ve consumed my entire being and I don’t think I will ever be the same… thank you.
Yes, my addiction includes frivolously chowing down on fatty fast food in front of Buckingham Palace.